Family In-Law- Heidi Lynn opinion

In regards in in-laws, whether it be parents in-law, brother in-laws, sister in-laws, etc... does everyone get along with theirs? Do the majority get along with theirs? Do the majority NOT get along with theirs? Does it cause couple problems? Conflict? And... the main question... Does it matter?! Of course, we would all LOVE to get along perfectly, or at least very good, with our significant others' family. The realism though, is that not every person or couple out there gets along with the families they marry into. This, although causing conflict, is something that (as bad as it sounds!) kind of goes with the territory. So, DOES it in fact matter? To some, yes. To some, no. To me... kind of. To me, I think the couple (and their kids/family) needs to come first. They are the ones living the day-to-day life, and the ones that need to stand the test of time. As long as they come first, I believe they just need to work together to make things good. I think being a team, whether they always agree or not, will make it seem like a united front that WANTS to make things good and better. The couple will have each others' back... through good AND bad. This isn't to say they won't be as much of a part of their family, but they will be more respected because of this. Does this make sense? Meaning... I think you can still be extremely close to your brothers, sisters, parents, etc... without making your husband or wife feel alienated or like THEY are the problem. The thing is, sometimes it just happens. No one should take it personally, but, as much as you get along with and love the person you marry... you don't choose your in-laws, and, just like anyone else out there, you don't always get along with everyone. Of course, it would make everything easier though!

In my personal life right now, I currently feel this in my relationship. I used to get along well with my significant other, Jons', family... But, when "stuff" happened with us back in January, that certainly changed things. I am at the point now, where, although we (meaning me and his family) have talked... I am wanting us to be able to attend the same functions finally! I think it is something that needs to happen! I don't want to feel like they're pushing me out, like he is alienating me by not including me, or that he is supporting them to think its OKAY to act like I don't matter. I know the first time again will be uncomfortable... but, what 1st time IN ANYTHING isn't?! I firmly believe it just needs to happen... for them, for me, for us... etc. I think it will finally show we do love each other and we are a united front. It will help them to see how good we actually are together. We have overcome this with my family... and it was SO hard for me at first. I was scared, nervous, and just about turned around from seeing them with him for the first time. But we did it, and now its okay! My family see's what they can't understand just from me SAYING it. Our actions, aura, etc while we are together... they get it... and Jon's would too. So, wish me luck on this quest to be understood and accepted!

What have I done? I've moved past MY personal past share of our problems and reasons as to why . I have done soul searching, realized a lot of things, and accepted that I was not perfect. On my end, I have overcome and know that there are things I can do better. Jon and I have discussed these things in great detail, and come to a mutual understanding of what drove us, and what needs to drive us now. We try to work together and be there for each other, including each other in things. I have also called a few members of Jon's family and apologized for my behavior around them at any point in our relationship in the past, as well as my contributions to our problems, especially those that directly affected them or their opinions on me or Jon and I. So, I feel like I've done my part... and I am ready for Jon and I to take our next step, but I feel that we definately need to have some together interaction with his family for this to happen! Lets DO IT!