Kiss Me!

Kenny Chesney- "Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me"

She said you never tell me that you love me anymore
So I can't help but wonder if you do
She said if things don't change you'll see me walk right out that door
Cause I've done everything I know to do
I said I just don't know what it is you want from me
She said I only want us back the way we used to be
Then she said
Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me
Hold me, hold me like you want me
Like you'll never let me go
She said show me, show me
That you really love me
And then tell me cause I really need to know
She said kiss me, kiss me, kiss me
I got down on my knee right there and promised her I'd change
Cause deep inside I knew that she was right
I said I know we've drifted and there's only me to blame
But I don't want to waste another night
Somewhere in the darkness there we found a brand new start
As I took every word she whispered straight to heart
Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me
Hold me, hold me like you want me
Like you'll never let me go
She said show me, show me
That you really love me
And then tell me cause I really need to know
She said kiss me, kiss me, kiss meKiss me......

I Lost It

Kenny Chesney- "I Lost It"

I had a hundred dollar ring in my hand
So weak and tired i could barely stand
From being up all night, prayin' she'd say yes
So with a hopeful heart i hit one knee
With a tear in her eye she looked at me
It was the moment of truth, i was scared to death
My life hung on what that tear meant
Then she smiled at me
And I lost it
No one can make me cry
Make me laugh
Make me smile
Or drive me mad like she does
It's like a curse that is the cure
Better or worse, one thing's for sure
It's real love and I don't know what I'd do
If I lost it

Well the honeymoon ended and life began
Jobs and bills, losing touch with friends
And that apartment got smaller every day
Then one night the walls finally closed in
I came home late, she said where've ya been
You used to call and tell me you're on your way
She said if this is how it's gonna be, then I quit
She walked out the door
I lost it

No one can make me cry
Make me laugh
Make me smile
Or drive me mad like she does
It's like a curse that is the cure
Better or worse, one thing's for sure
It's real love and I don't know what I'd do
If I lost it

I picked myself up off the floor
She walked back through the door
And we made love like it was the first time
No one can make me cry
Make me laugh
Make me smile
Or drive me mad like she does
It's like a curse that is the cure
Better or worse, one thing's for sure
It's real love and I don't know what I'd do
If I lost it
Oh, if I lost it
I don't wanna lose it

Perfect

Sara Evans- “PERFECT”

If you don't take me to Paris
On a lover's getaway
It's all right, it's all right
If I'd rather wear your t-shirt
Than a sexy negligeeIt's all right, it's all right
Every dinner doesn't have to be candlelit
It's kinda nice to know that it doesn't have to be
Perfect
Baby every little piece
Of the puzzle doesn't always fit
Perfectly
Love can be rough around the edges tattered at the seams
But honey if it's good enough for you
It's good enough for me
If your mother doesn't like
The way I treat her baby boy
It's all right, it's all right
If in every wedding picture
My daddy looks annoyed
It's all right, it's all right
Don't you know that all the fairy tales tell a lie
Real love and real life doesn't have to be
Perfect
Baby every little piece
Of the puzzle doesn't always fit
Perfectly
Love can be rough around the edges tattered at the seams
But honey if it's good enough for you
It's good enough for me
You don't mind if I show up late for everything
And when you lose your cool it's kinda cute to me
Ain't it nice to know that we don't have to be
Perfect
Baby every little piece
Of the puzzle doesn't always fit
Perfectly
Love can be rough around the edges tattered at the seams
But honey if it's good enough for you
It's good enough for me
It's good enough for me (perfect)
Yeah good enough for me (perfect)
Good enough for me (perfect)

Guilt

Is guilt in our lives something that we can let completely drive us? Do we feel guilty and wrong if we aren't giving 100% to the thing that we think we "should" be? IE... If someone took on a project for someone, but it wasn't going as well as they wanted, even though they were giving 100%, would they feel super-guilty because they feel that everything else is then "wrong", because its "taking away" from the project that should be the #1 priority? Some do feel this way. Is it right? Of course its not, but that's not stopping how some people would feel! How do they get past it? Why do they feel this way? I firmly believe that guilt is a huge factor in how someone lives their life. They let this guilt and thinking that they're not doing enough consume them. This starts to freak them out about all the other things in life... like those other things are "wrong" or "burdens" or "not right" in their life. Why?!



Also, why not LET someone help? If someone is willing, able, and happy to help the person feeling the "guilt" with anything... why doesn't that person let them help?! What is it going to hut? I say nothing! Would it hurt if it helped? NO! Would it maybe feel awkward or uncomfortable or like you (as the guilt-filled-person) aren't doing enough like you "should be"? YES! It will feel all these ways! Do family and friends think that these people should be perfect and do it all and everything runs perfectly smoothly when he/she does things all alone?! NO! Newsflash- they WANT you to have someone to help you! They know that having a partner is great, and everyone feels better!



Trust me, I have a hard time relinquishing control. At work I don't like others to touch my papers for fear they'll "mess them up"... I am a perfectionist. I like to be in control and know that I AM SO GREAT for doing it all... in my work, personal, and every-day life! I know that about myself... so I understand why people act this way...I get it. BUT, I also know that I cannot operate my life like this. As much as I'd sometimes like to be super-independent and not have to rely on others, the truth of the matter is sometimes life IS better with another person... and that's OKAY! It is okay to rely on someone else, and things are easier... the trick is to not feel the guilt when you let the person have some of your "stuff" in life. If you let yourself not feel the guilt... that is when you'll be truly happy! Make sense?!

The moral? Know DEEP DOWN that it is completely okay to relinquish a little... and that you don't have to feel guilty for doing so. This, then, turns into happiness! (For everyone involved!) Congrats, then you're a team!

Family In-Law- Facts and Help

http://www.foundationsforfreedom.net/Topics/Parenting/Parenting10_In-Laws.html

#1- Be Humble

Good communication with our family is dependent upon how much we are able to apologize for our sins against our parents and clear up any past misunderstandings. Past offenses and pride cause misunderstandings and arguments.

#2- Be Honoring: Consistently respect your parents

We assure them of our value for them by respecting them. The relationship you have with your parents is most likely the one you will have with your children. So now is the time to change! Your children are learning how to relate to you by the way you relate to your parents.

#3- Family harmony is dependent on how much love and truth shapes our relationship with our parents. Truth must be shared in a context of love and care to be accepted.

The truth about this site... ask for forgiveness if there were past problems. This is the way to maintain an excellent relationship.



http://ocw.usu.edu/Family__Consumer____Human_Development/Marriage___Family_Relationships/Personal_Interests___Expectations_11.html

"Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does too."- Unknown

Problems can arise for couples when one or both spouse's parents are not willing to let go of their child and give them the freedom they need to form a new life of their own with the partner they have chosen. Another source of problems is that new spouses (husbands and wives included) are sometimes unwilling to let go of their parents. Either way it can be a recipe for problems in a new marriage.

Give your marital and in-law relationships time to form. It may take a year or two.

Learn to love your in-laws. Someday they may live with you.

Remember that in-laws change very slowly. Fault finding seldom speeds the process.

Gradually move your relationship with your parents from parent-child to parent-peer.

Listen to advice and counsel from your in-laws but make your own decisions regarding finances, children, etc.

Demonstrate and tell of your love for your spouse in front of your parents.

Share some social interests are activities with your new in-law family.

Frequently use the word "we." Be a team.

Respond to your mother and father-in-law as a team as much as possible.


http://love.ivillage.com/fnf/fnfinlaws/0,,808-2,00.html

"When we talk about in-laws, we're almost always talking about mothers-in-law, it seems, with sisters-in-law running a close second. What is it about the other women in our men's lives, the ones they grew up with and who, presumably, helped shape them into the guys we love? Some of us are lucky enough to become fast friends with these women, to find an additional set of shoulders to lean on, even to discover a replacement for a mother we lost or are distant from. But then there are the difficult cases -- and from the number of "Oh, you've been there, too?" responses, it seems that in-law troubles are pretty darn common."

Some common problems and advice to go along with it:

1- "We have very different lifestyles."

The lowdown: Communicate with the family in regards to what you both expect when talking or visiting each other.

2- "My mother in law is impossible!"

The lowdown: The parents need to accept you for who you are. Life is too short to hate, and its better to just accept someone is a certain way than to hate them. The couple needs to be able to turn the other cheek if the mother is being unreasonable. (I would personally say it works both ways, she should do that to the couple as well, if needed!)

3- "They won't accept me."

The lowdown: Some find that no matter what they do to try to please the in-laws, there is no winning. They may blame the new (daughter) in-law for problems with their son, or start accusing her of taking him away from his family. (Clip from the website from a reader: "This past year I've done all I can to encourage him to be with his family. I've invited his family to several events as well as to my home, but there's nothing I can do to get them to accept me. Whenever there is a dispute between my fiance and his ex, his family sides with her. And if they can't figure out a way to blame him for it, it becomes my fault.") SO- some say it is best to just accept that they won't change, but mostly be unfront with your husband, so he can see. He may be able to speak with them and point out difficiencies better than you could to them. The guy should make sure his family gets to know you.

4- "We had a huge blow-up."

The lowdown: A big fight with them... From the webiste-"I think that you should be the better person and apologize for acting that way," she says. But that's not to say one should roll over and be a wimp, either. "Tell them exactly what drove you to that. It is important that you set the ground rules as to what you consider acceptable and what you find offensive." She also stresses the importance of keeping your cool. "Flying off the handle gives them ammunition to treat you badly and speak ill of you." The wife/daughter in-law should need to know where your significant other stands and to confront his family as a team. "It will cause a strain on your marriage because your husband is in the middle. It is important that he is there -- they will know that you guys are one and have one voice."

The basics?

"Set boundaries within which you can function with your in-laws. Be the kinder and more generous one, despite what others do; bad behavior on your part doesn't so much let you "get even" with your in-laws as make you a lesser person. And, finally, make sure you know where your husband stands, and that he's willing to stand with you as a teammate."

Family In-Law- Heidi Lynn opinion

In regards in in-laws, whether it be parents in-law, brother in-laws, sister in-laws, etc... does everyone get along with theirs? Do the majority get along with theirs? Do the majority NOT get along with theirs? Does it cause couple problems? Conflict? And... the main question... Does it matter?! Of course, we would all LOVE to get along perfectly, or at least very good, with our significant others' family. The realism though, is that not every person or couple out there gets along with the families they marry into. This, although causing conflict, is something that (as bad as it sounds!) kind of goes with the territory. So, DOES it in fact matter? To some, yes. To some, no. To me... kind of. To me, I think the couple (and their kids/family) needs to come first. They are the ones living the day-to-day life, and the ones that need to stand the test of time. As long as they come first, I believe they just need to work together to make things good. I think being a team, whether they always agree or not, will make it seem like a united front that WANTS to make things good and better. The couple will have each others' back... through good AND bad. This isn't to say they won't be as much of a part of their family, but they will be more respected because of this. Does this make sense? Meaning... I think you can still be extremely close to your brothers, sisters, parents, etc... without making your husband or wife feel alienated or like THEY are the problem. The thing is, sometimes it just happens. No one should take it personally, but, as much as you get along with and love the person you marry... you don't choose your in-laws, and, just like anyone else out there, you don't always get along with everyone. Of course, it would make everything easier though!

In my personal life right now, I currently feel this in my relationship. I used to get along well with my significant other, Jons', family... But, when "stuff" happened with us back in January, that certainly changed things. I am at the point now, where, although we (meaning me and his family) have talked... I am wanting us to be able to attend the same functions finally! I think it is something that needs to happen! I don't want to feel like they're pushing me out, like he is alienating me by not including me, or that he is supporting them to think its OKAY to act like I don't matter. I know the first time again will be uncomfortable... but, what 1st time IN ANYTHING isn't?! I firmly believe it just needs to happen... for them, for me, for us... etc. I think it will finally show we do love each other and we are a united front. It will help them to see how good we actually are together. We have overcome this with my family... and it was SO hard for me at first. I was scared, nervous, and just about turned around from seeing them with him for the first time. But we did it, and now its okay! My family see's what they can't understand just from me SAYING it. Our actions, aura, etc while we are together... they get it... and Jon's would too. So, wish me luck on this quest to be understood and accepted!

What have I done? I've moved past MY personal past share of our problems and reasons as to why . I have done soul searching, realized a lot of things, and accepted that I was not perfect. On my end, I have overcome and know that there are things I can do better. Jon and I have discussed these things in great detail, and come to a mutual understanding of what drove us, and what needs to drive us now. We try to work together and be there for each other, including each other in things. I have also called a few members of Jon's family and apologized for my behavior around them at any point in our relationship in the past, as well as my contributions to our problems, especially those that directly affected them or their opinions on me or Jon and I. So, I feel like I've done my part... and I am ready for Jon and I to take our next step, but I feel that we definately need to have some together interaction with his family for this to happen! Lets DO IT!

Have it ALL!

In life, is is possible for us to have it all? I think two different ways on this one. First of all, YES, I totally think it is possible for us to have it all. How perfect everything, on the other hand, is a different story. Let me explain. Right now, I have a great guy, a great family, great friends, good health, a good job, and enough money to make it (ha- of course that could always be more!). Is that ALL I want out of life? No. But is it the building blocks and structure for me having it all? Yes. I have it all for where I am in my life right now... But, I could definately have it "all" a little more. Meaning... I want to get married, have kids, live in a big house, drive a nice car, have a better career or my own business, have more money, and start doing more things (ie: having parties at our house, going on more vacations). BUT... I think that will all come.



Of course, its work and effort to have it "all"... and it will never be PERFECT. But, you can just accept that it all will never be perfect but you can still have it all. I do not think that there are enough hours in the day, expecting that we can control them all- which we can't, to keep them all perfect and up to where we would want them. But, that does not mean that they're not there, and as long as they are usually great and have more days than bad ones... what more could we ask for? That IS having it all!!!



My personal example... sometimes my relationship is going great, I've had a great place to live, I've been healthy, but my career sucks. Sometimes my career is great but my relationship sucks. But I say sucks... it is basically that it isn't as GREAT as I would want it to be. But its still there for me to have it all!

How do you have or not have it all?!

"How many of us are having great sex with people we're ashamed to introduce to our friends?"

To take a quote from Carrie on Sex and the City... Well? How many of us out there are or have actually done this or are doing it?! . Good, bad, a proud moment (or NOTTTT!)... it has happened to a lot of us.

We're all adults... we know this happens. But the question is- SHOULD it matter?! Should it just be that it is either okay, or not okay? I would say that if you're wanting to do it, then its okay. Who cares about what other think! But, is it a double standard that men can do it and feel like its no big deal... but if women do it they are looked at like they should feel bad or ashamed!?

Trying Times!

I got to thinking... the hard times- and making it through them- are what really get me to believe I am "in it" for the long run, and always have been. Case in point... everyone knows, when its good, its good... its easy, fun to be in the relationship, etc. But, the testing times are when it gets hard, or has moments that are like, "OMG I COULD SCREAM!". Last week a couple days, I watched my friends' son while he was busy. I like to watch him, its never a problem, and we have fun together. He normally listens to me very well and is respectful to me, sometimes more to me than others, which I think is great. (It shows SO much potential for him!!!) Well, I had just gotten done doing some fun stuff with him, taking him swimming, getting pizza, etc. We had a good, relaxing, fun time. Well, he started to talk back and act up when I set a "guideline" for the rest of the night. Long story short, it made me mad and I disciplined him. He was sad, I was upset...It was one of those "WTF AM I DOING?! I JUST WANT TO RELAX TOO!!!"... and a few minutes later, I was doing just that; we were both content, etc. And then it hit me... I was able, okay with, and most of all, WILLING to do that and contend with those hard, frustrating times- (and have been (doing it) for the last 3 years)!!! That's what continues to make me know, as these happen more and more throughout our life, that I am in it and nothing will ever change that. I mean, as hard as it gets on days or the trying times, I know deep down I'm "NOT GOING ANYWHERE"... You know when they say (about parents to children), that "there is nothing that will make me stop loving you or ever give up". (Whatever that exact saying is!!!, ha!) Well, that's exactly how I feel... I know without a doubt that there is nothing that will change for to act badly or not be willing to help make all of our lives together great. They, me, and our relationship- and lives!- deserve it too!