Update- HEART GROWS FONDER!

Oh, yeah... being gone/distance definately makes the heart grow fonder...thats all I gotta say! That seems to be the feeling or realization now... which was told to me repeatedly all week! WHoo.

http://quotations.about.com/od/lovequotes/a/lovequotes43.htm

It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is probably why lovers who are apart spend most of their time thinking about each other. If you are living away from your beloved, then there might be a long distance love quote below that will provide you with some comfort.


George Eliot: What greater thing is there for two human souls that to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.

Anonymous: Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart.

Thomas Fuller: Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.

Robert Dodsley: One kind kiss before we part,Drop a tear and bid adieu;Though we sever, my fond heartTill we meet shall pant for you.

Francois de la Rouchefoucauld: Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.

Roger de Bussy-Rabutin: Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.

Richard Bach: Can miles truly separate you from friends? If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?

Anonymous: Absence makes thy heart grow fonder.

Anonymous: I hate the stars because I look at the same ones as you do, without you.

Anonymous: A part of you has grown in me.And so you see, it's you and me,Together forever and never apart,Maybe in distance, but never in heart.

Khalil Gibran: And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Jon Oliva: If I go awayWhat would still remain of me?The ghost within your eyes?The whisper in your sighs?You see... BelieveAnd I'm always there.

Kay Knudsen: Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.

Hans Nouwens: In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged.

George Eliot: That farewell kiss which resembles greeting, that last glance of love which becomes the sharpest pang of sorrow.

Anonymous: If the only place where I could see you was in my dreams, I'd sleep forever.

Pam Brown: Odd how much it hurts when a friend moves away - and leaves behind only silence.

Edward Thomas: The simple lack of her is more to me than others' presence.

Nude pics

So... I have a friend... she had nude pics taken of her! Now, as of yesterday, they're up online!!! Is this something that is apparently happening more and more around our society? From watching Sex and The City on a regular basis lately... I would say that this is definately something thats happening with people quite a bit! As for me, I'd do (or, have done... ;)...) the picture-taking thing, okay as well as maybe the video-taping thing! But, in my experience, I, of course, would recommend only doing it with somebody you feel extremely comfortable with and can trust 100%! You don't want to end up like my friend with her nakedness all online! Any other ideas of if this is okay... or ways to make it work w/o causing problems? Sorry to my friend but its been the hot-topic of the day now since hearing her news! :)

Back to School!

Today my bf's son started 1st Grade- first day of school! To me, I think that 1st Grade is not quite as nerve-racking as Kindergarten for all parties involved (child, parents, family)... but it is still DEFINATELY a big deal, especially in the aspect of the child's life thus far. Meaning, for a child, this is probably one of the biggest deals they've had in their life at the age of 6! Anyway, Jon met his son (who was taken there by his mother today) at school around 8 am. Jon was not too "worried" in my opinion, but definately happy to be a proud dad for the first day of 1st grade! He took his camera to take a few pictures once he got to the school... and ones to then send on to his family, who lives a few hours away! I will try to sneak away with his camera before the weekend to print some off for them to give to his parents (gma and gpa) this weekend as a surprise! So, this school thing, to me, being an "almost" or "sometimes almost" step-mom, is something that I've been thinking about all week, and definately all of today. I feel left out of the equation of school with him... out of the loop... or like I am meaningless in his son's life because I am not his mom, nor am I his family, who I am sure knows almost MORE than I do about his school, teacher, etc. It's almost like... I volunteer constantly, as I did today, to watch his son... it is not a hassle to me, not a pain to me, not something I feel like I "have" to do. But, it is more something I want to do, I have fun watching him, he has fun with me, and I know Jon can trust me with him... as I know the routine, his personality, etc. So, it really hurts me when I feel I am not taken up on my offer, or even asked if I would do it. It makes me feel like I am not really part of either Jon or his son's life in some ways. But, I keep trying to move forward and prove that I am in it for the long run, through good and bad with his son, and as a constant helper and supporter when I am needed! I love his son so much that it makes me feel so sad that I can't show it more, because I feel I am not supposed to at this point in our relationship life! Anyway... if "SPACE" isn't being used tonight (sarcasm, yes!)... regardless if Jon will want me or "let" me watch his son after school (since there is no daycare yet and Jon works longer than me!)... I was thinking I'd bring a "1st day of back to school" surprise for Jackson from me, along with cooking a dinner that he loves- tuna (we call it chicken!) casserole with blueberry muffins! I think this would be a great way to start back on a weeknight... and he'd get some stability out of feeling good about his day! Anyway... this is all on my mind, and I hope I can do this, because it makes me feel included. It is so hard for me to try to make our relationship feel better (about that stuff) when I cannot prove anything! I don't think that Jon often understands that I WANT to do everything I do, I LIKE to do it, I LOVE his son, and it is not at all a hassle... I want my life to be full of good things, but I most want in life to have someone I love, have a family with them (and I don't always know if he knows that INCLUDES his son, of course!), and be a great wife, mom, and step-mom. I want that so, so bad... it hurts when it's not realized or thought of value by others. Anyone else have problems or hurt feelings being step-moms?

Anyway, I am 110% positive I don't doubt myself on EVER being a great wife, mom, and step-mom! I'll be the greatest!!!

Letter to a Man

I want to take the time to write you a little letter so you enver doubt or worry about what I want out of life, out of our relationship, or out of you. My dreams for life are with you... you as my soul mate, love of my life, best friend (or best buddy!), fiance, husband, and father to our children. My dreams and goals in life are with you... and they are to be the best fiancee, wife, step-mom, and mom possible to you, your son, and our kids. I truly want that, as a family, with you, more than anything else. I have so many dreams of an amazing family... one that can smile, laugh, be close, love each other, and survive the good and bad times that'll come. It seems at times you doubt my sincerity when I say those things, or that you may worry or think they'll change for me. Well, I can tell you with 120% sincerity that they won't. I know that deep down to my core, and promise you that for everyday. I know things with J have been on your mind now and always... and what I can tell you is that I love you unconditionally, and I want what you want for him. I have definite high expectations of things I want for my kids (and when I say that, that includes him- I hope you've know that means him no differently than ones of mine or ours), like them having great lives, fun times, enough discipline to raise them to be GREAT adults, and parents that they know care about and love them beyond belief. So, its hard for me when it seems like you are worrying that I feel or will feel differently about him and things with him. I truly think that it will only continue to get better every day with him and us with him... Does that make sense? Meaning, how could you or I ever think that in 6 mo, 1 yr, 5 yrs, or 10 yrs, that my thoughts, feelings, and actions with him would ever change for the worse? Every day he does and will only continue to feel like more of part of my life, and more like someone that I am having an affect on (his life), as well as me feeling like a (step) mom to him. And, though I don't have kids of my own, I cannot imagine ever being able to give up on my own kids or ever not wanting them in my life (yes, bad times and disagreeing times n all)... and I feel exactly the same about him and his life. I always want to be the best step-mom to him, and someone he feels, as he keeps growing up, that is a soft spot for him, someone he can come to with concerns, or just talk to like a regular "mom" would. I want that feeling for him, me, and you so bad, that it completely hurts that I think you may doubt my sincerity or that it would ever change. I know without a doubt in my mind, that it won't. I know your goals in life include raising him to be great, you being an amazing dad (which you area already succeeding at!), being a great boyfriend/fiance/husband to someone you love and care about, and having a family, along with still being close to your important family and friends. Our goals, wants, morals, and values completely line up, as does our chemistry and love. I truly feel God is with us and put us together for a reason... with all my heart I do!

Love ya!

Space

"For some people, time apart is good... it makes them realize who they are, what they want, and gives them a second chance at the most incredible love they'll ever have."

Is space in a relationship good? Is it helpful? In a relationship where one person or another needs some more free-time and to not feel "smothered"... does this work?! I have mixed reviews and thoughts on this...

I think YES, it is helpful! It helps one or both parties have more time to think about their life, the other person, and things they may miss or notice without their significant other around. It can be reflection time and time to have for re-connecting with friends or family that we often get out-of-touch with more when we're in a relationship. This time can make it possible for the person wanting the space to realize he can have both a life outside of "her" and a life with her... that it is all possible to want and have! And be successful! Space and time apart a little more also makes the two people miss each other and get a little more excited to see, hang out with, or talk to the other person! A lot more happens in the others' life when you're not around, so there is a lot more to talk about on the phone or in person! I have personally seen all of this... "he" seems less stressed when we are hanging out, and it seems like we are able to talk about and discuss a lot more things! The other benefit, is that you crave each other more... In many different ways that I've talked about... but also in physical ways. You crave their face, touch, holding their hand, kissing them, and being intimate with them. I have personally seen and felt this tremendously as well. When you aren't seeing that person all the time... this physical part comes up a lot more when you are actually with the person! This makes the sex a lot better as well... you want it more, crave them more, and it heats everything up!

Some of the downfalls and why I think NO it is not good or helpful stem from the person not wanting the space. This person can feel hurt, sad, lonely, and disconnected from the other person in their life. You can be worried there is more to it than just wanting space, and constantly questioning and having anxiety over what they're doing, if they're missing you, and how long they're going to need this "more space". I definately believe that it can make the couple feel very disconnected, as they may go from knowing everything about their other half's life to feeling like they know nothing. This, while maybe good for the other person in some sense, is not necessarily good for the person not wanting the space. Another con of having more space, I think, is that it can feel like others (like friends and family) are more important than you!

I think, good or bad, what both parties have to remember is that if its love you can make it work no matter what... I truly believe that. And if it takes having space for it to work out, then so be it. It will be hard, it will be uncomfortable, it may be okay at some times but feel terrible at others.

In my life right now... this is exactly what is happening. Some days I feel okay wtih it... but others, like today... I feel terrible about it. I feel like- why hasn't he called me as much?- doesn't he wonder what I'M up to?- it isn't the way it used to be- is that okay or is it terrible?!-is this space and time helping him and our relationship?- or, what is the point? I am okay with it as long as the end result- sooner or later- is a relationship that is better than the way it was before the "space". Today, though... not fun. I feel hurt. I feel lonely. I feel like he doesn't care. I feel like I am out of the loop of his life. I feel like I am alone in the relationship. Tomorrow, though... is a new day!

Quotes

3 year relationship... the last year, up and down, good and bad... FRUSTRATING! I know its love... so, whats the problem?! Is it really "us", or something else that adds stress and worried thought about the future?! I am compiling a list of quotes that describe what I (therefore a lot of you others out there!) feel, have felt, think I may feel, or that "he" could be feeling.

• "One day you're going to wake up and realize how much you care for, love, and need her...and when that day comes, she'll be waking up next to the guy who already knew."
• "Never give up on somebody you can't go a day without thinking about."
• "It's not up to me anymore... if you want me in your life, you'll find a way to put me there."
• "If he's dumb enough to walk out of your life, be smart enough to let him go."
• "I'm something you'll regret losing... I promise you that."
• "As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll fight with your best friend and you might even fall in love with him. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing so fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you care about. So take too many pictures, laugh too hard, and love like you've never been hurt, because every minute you spend mad or upset is a minute of happiness that you'll never get back."
• "Never settle for anything less, when your heart is crying out for more."
• "Someone out there is meant to be the love of your life,your best friend, your soulmate, the one you can tell your dreams to.he'll smile at you when you tell him, but he'll never laugh at your heart. he'll brush the hair out of your eyes. he'll call you to tell you goodnight before you get into bed or just because he is thinking about you. he'll be bursting to talk to you each morning just to hear the sound of your voice. he'll look into your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and for the first time in your life ... you'll believe it."
• "Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot...who calls you back when you hang up on him...who will lie under the stars and listen to your heart beat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead... who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats... who holds your hand in front of his friends...who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on...one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you... the one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.' "
• "So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day." -The Notebook
• "Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart.Why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard?"- Jack Johnson
• "After a while you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh." -Mr Big

There will be more... probably a lot more! I love these and will update often!

Who Moved My Cheese?

Change- it happens for a reason. I hate change because I like comfort... I am a creature of habit... and I like it (with the stipulation that I like it as long as its comfortable!)... But, what do you do if you're faced with those times that you HAVE to change? Like, my story right now... I have been in the relationship with Jon for going on 3 years now. We have been dating, living together, engaged... Now we are having more "space", and living separately. This is an uncomfortable, changed stage that I am not familiar with. BUT, in doing so, I am realizing the benefits (like funnier conversations, I-havent-seen-you-in-awhile sex, and more cuddling!). If I wouldnt have looked around and jumped into trying this, I would never have realized that change... although uncomfortable, helps you enjoy the new environment or "cheese".

Please enjoy the great "Who Moved My Cheese" video. If you want more, check out the book "Who Moved My Cheese" by Dr. Spencer Johnson.

The Good Stuff

So, the thought seems obscure that some women don't constantly think about the things that've been plaguing my mind. My thoughts are constant with relationships, being an "almost" step-mom/mom someday, being successful in a career that I haven't determined if I like yet, doing it (yes- IT- sexy lexy), and wondering about the unplanned future... these are the things I classify as "the good stuff" (to quote a Kenny Chesney song title). Although not necessarily all good, they all have the possibilities of making my life "good". Does that make sense? The problem, or solution, I guess, is how to get them all to be good?! Well, some un-canned, in-a-nutshell solutions would be.... open, honest communication for both in the relationship (but thats too easy to do!)... both parties realizing what they have and being dedicated to each other... wanting whats best for your step child, and not being okay with things that you know arent the best (but keeping your mouth shut when you have to)...learning from your experiences on how to be (one day) a GREAT mom... figuring out what you like about your job, and why, and how to advance or grow to be doing what you love (and hopefully making TONS of money at it!)... loving to "do it" with your significant other...loving to fantasize about the sex with your partner, and carrying it out (oh yeah, we'll go there with this blog!)... hoping for the best for the future and never giving up on your dreams for it, and not thinking negatively about the past, but being a realist too!