Book Quote!

I'm in the middle of my new book and came across a very appropriate quote!

"Sometimes the best part of loving somebody is loving them even though they've hurt you. Any fool can love somebody who is perfect, somebody who does everything right. But that doesn't stretch your soul. Your soul only gets stretched when you can still love somebody after they've hurt you."

Quotes...more

Have you broken up? Need to move on? These may describe a little of what you're feeling when doing so...

"Honestly.. I'm crazy about him.. but that doesn't make me stupid.. yea I've been hurt enough times to learn my lesson.. and I know he's not the only guy who looks at me.. I mean why would I waste my time on someone who doesn't appreciate me.. when everyone tells me I could do so much better? He knows where to find me if he ever wants me.. but my world isn't going to stop and wait for him.. if he does happen to come back.. whose to say I'll even be here when he does?"

"Somehow, the conversation mentioned your name. And someone asked if I knew you. Looking away I thought of all the times we had together; sharing laughter, tears, jokes and tons more. And then, without explanation you were gone. I looked to where they were waiting for an answer, and then said softly, 'Once...I thought I did'."

"Never take things for granted, because they might not always be there."

"I wanted a perfect ending....now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."

"To forgive and forget is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

Just realized!

You know what I just realized?! I've been kind of talking around it for forever... and it just dawned on me. @ the beginning... you know what the "problems" were that made it seem like I wasn't very accepting or "good" about stuff?! Well, I just realized... it was that I thought of parenting as different as what was actually happening. Meaning... someone like Jon had almost 4 years to figure out parenting and being around a child all the time. I had "thoughts" of how being a parent/dad/mom should be... so when I got into the relationship, I didn't have the luxury of time on my side, nor experience. Is that bad? No, I dont think so, its just how it was! I thought that what I had "always" thought it would be like... it wasnt. Like- I used to think kids shouldnt be too spoiled or have pop a lot of get away with stuff... etc. (Those are my examples.) SO, when that would happen... I would get irritated because I would think it was "wrong" and that wasn't how parents were "supposed" to be. DUH! It all makes sense to me now! I was young and just thought that every parent thought the same thing... And now I know even MORE that it was never ever something that I wanted Jon (or his son for that matter!) to do differently... it was never me personally that wanted it differently... even though it came across that way. It was that I thought there was an IDEAL or a SPECIFIC way that everyone knew it should be done. Make sense? I never had/have wanted Jon to change who he is or be someone else... I know now that I just wanted things to be SO good (I know that seems confusing)... basically, perfect, that I went completely the OPPOSITE way... I would get mad at something because I would think that then in the long run it would cause more harm then good. Make sense? It was just how I had read books and magazines and it all on parenting... that when I actually got into the "situation", I had no time to prepare, to ready myself, to learn... and I thought I already KNEW. Yes, I'm admitting I didn't and don't know everything! Now, I've lived it... I've learned that books do give you the basics, but its day by day and play by play and LIVING in it that gives you the real knowledge. Thats why now, we had been together longer... I have more experience... I understand what motivates a parent, and what motivates a child... to do things and act the way they do. I feel now like I'm a "mom" at heart, although still not perfect w/everything @ ALL! I understand that the basics (that I thought when coming into this relationship) about parenting (that I apparently thought should be followed to a 'T'- duh Heidi)... are the cold, hard facts. And they're just that... cold and hard. To be a parent or step-parent isn't just about those facts (like I had thought when entering, and thus motivated me to try to make it so "perfect" - like a book- that it was like I was the opposite)... yes, that as a basis... but warm and soft is what it should actually be when parenting! This, therefore, made our relationship harder because it was like we were going in opposite directions or around in circles with the "situation" stuff, because Jon actually knew from real-world experience, and I thought I was helping by giving my (book) "knowledge"... thinking it was the end-all, be-all of what it should be. NOW I KNOW!!! I'm so happy I'm so much further along (and we both are- I know he's learned a little from me and my "what they say you should do" knowledge!) in my knowledge, understanding, and feelings about the "situation" and daily lives. I love the "situation" and am so much more open-minded... I want to help make it an enrichment in everyone's lives!

Life

I've been thinking about what I want out of life lately, and I've made numerous posts about it. Well, those are things I definitely want, and want to share with someone. The things that've been questioned, though, are what I want for the other person. I want the best for the person I'm with! The best of everything of course! It hurts when my motives are questioned, but I know how I feel and what I want. You no longer, once you're in a serious relationship, think of it just about yourself anymore. You have to take into account things the other person sees as important, wants out of life, and goals he wants to accomplish, etc. Its easier said than done, but I feel good knowing in myself, I'm giving, caring, always been there when he has needed me, and good at communicating. I care about his opinion and wants more than he will ever know. I have a deep need to make everything good and for a great life. Its kinda hard to explain on here... But all very true.







Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Counseling

Does it work? Is it worth it to do? I think it is if you love someone and think you had or have something special... Something hard to find... Something worth exhausting every resource you can, especially before giving up. Couseling may make you have a neutral party help you both talk, convey your feelings, and come to realizations you couldn't otherwise do by yourselves. Why? How? Because there are those people out there that have studied people, relationships, etc. If it would have a chance, at all, of helping... Why wouldn't a couple try it?

I cannot imagine not...

Cooking dinner for us.
Decorating the house for holidays.
Getting and giving sweet emails.
Having a call waiting for me after work or during the day.
Going to parties or functions together.
Going to movies together.
Watching Saturday/Sunday/Monday pm football together.
Playing games.
Looking at open houses.
Taking fun trips.
Doing our laundry together.
Sleeping together.
Watching Chelsea Lately in bed together.
Getting ready for work at the same time.
Celebrating the holidays together.
Buying each other things.
Eating pizza at night.
Eating wings from Applebees and Buffalo Wild Wings.
Getting omlettes from Ankeny Diner.
Dancing together.
Getting each others jokes before anyone else.
Finishing each others' sentences.
Rolling my eyes at some silly comment that I know is coming.
Laughing uncontrollably at something that no one else would think is funny.
Getting you better than anyone else.
Being able to talk about our days at work.
Being able to talk about anything.
Being able to give each other advice.
Being able to say silly things to each other.
Being able to tell each other funny stories.
Cleaning the house.
Cuddling on the couch.
Doing it anymore.
Picking stuff up at the stores for each other.
Kissing.
Touching your body.
Having you touch my body.
Planning a future together.
Having my best friend.
Talking at all.

?

Do you remember why you fell in love with me to begin with? Why? What are the reasons? Did I lose those?

Did you used to love me more than you do now?

Did I used to be sweeter, nicer, better?

Are you not excited to see me anymore?

Do we not have fun together anymore? Did we used to have more fun?

Do we still have the same things in common?

Do you still feel comfortable around me like you used to?

How, if I'm not, am I not worth it anymore? How, if we're not, are WE not worth it anymore?

Is life better without me?

Do I not make you smile or laugh anymore? Do you smile more without me around?

Working on things no longer matter? Its all given up? We have nothing left that could make for something great?

How do I go from the love of your life to someone that doesn't seem to matter much or to someone that you don't care thats in your life?

Does the love and same wants out of life not count for anything anymore?